President Obama today explained why, over the bitter objections of Senator John McCain (R-AZ), he wanted to ally the U.S. with Iran.
"The U.S. instigated a Sunni-Shiite war when George W. Bush invaded Iraq. The U.S. backs the Iraq government of the Shiite Al-Maliki and does Iran because it is a Shiite nation. So the U.S. and Iran are natural allies," explained the president.
The President laughed, "you never know in foreign affairs who your friends and enemies are. Yesterday's enemies can easily become are friends. So Iran is still pissed at us because we overthrew their democratically elected government so the U.S. could have cheap oil from Iran, but we'll soon be pals. But they'll get over it because that hate the Sunnis."
When asked about Iran calling the U.S. the "Great Satan," Obama happily replied that they're "just joking around."
"Don't forget," said the President, "In Orwell's 1984 there is a perpetual war among Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia."
Obama explained that at the start of the book, Oceania and Eastasia are allies combating Eurasia in northern Africa and the Malabar Coast.
"That alliance ends and Oceania allied with Eurasia fights Eastasia. The public are blind to the change; in mid-sentence a TV announcer changes the name of the enemy from "Eurasia" to "Eastasia" without pause," pointed out the Commander-In-Chief.
"We can do that with Iran. Americans won't see the change in enemies; essentially they're dumb and ignorant, they don't pay attention to anything."
The President concluded by saying that BP and Exxon Mobil are heavily invested in Iraq oil fields that are now threatened by Sunni forces that have overtaken Mosel.
"What's good for Big Oil is good for America. We'll join with Iran to fight for our freedom," said Obama.