Arlington, Virginia (STT NEWS) - Hillary Clinton, sought nationwide after her daring escape from an official federal mental health facility, was most recently sighted at a Costco store across the Potomac in Arlington, Virginia. According to Demowire, "She was offering an autograph session for her book, 'Hard Choices', in which she details how and why Monica Lewinsky was allowed to live and that her husband, former president Bill Clinton, somehow still had his penis attached after all these years."
When queried for more details by phone, STT News was told, "This is not about her considered run for the office of president. All know that this is an impossibility because she is, well, quite insane. Still and all, though, she has maintained enough of a cult following to see this book sell and pay for all her treatments."
When Costco was contacted, they claimed that they were completely unaware that she was being sought for any escape and under the circumstances, had no real choice but to grant her the stage that she sought.
The Virginia office of Attorney General did say, however, that they were looking into the matter and that if Mrs. Clinton was still in the state, that they would try and find her and see to her gentle and cared return to the mental health institute from which she lammed.
When STT News tried to reach her husband, Bill, the only reply was a recording saying that the former president was planning to attend Obama's next public outing at the National Congress for Ongoing National Dispair. There he would be using plastic straws to hurl spitballs at the current chief executive.