Written by D P Whitehead
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 9 June 2014

image for Funeral Homes Preparing For Baby Boomer Bonanza
Tick Tock - There Will Be A Surplus Of Wheelchairs and Stair Lifts Coming Soon

Funeral homes and undertakers across the United States are said to be "sitting on a goldmine" as millions of so-called 'Baby Boomers' approach death and their final days on earth.

Those Baby Boomers not suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's are already picking out coffins, making funeral arrangements and purchasing burial plots; and it is big business.

Tom Moore runs "Boomers for Burial" a boutique catch-all service for Baby Boomers in South Florida. His company provides a full range of services for families eagerly anticipating the deaths of their loved ones, so they can inherit property, bonds and stock.

"We are killing it, if you excuse the pun," Moore told me, "We arrange everything: undertakers, coffins, flowers, wakes - you name it we do it. We also have professional mourners on standby for those whose friends have already died, and whose relatives can't be bothered to travel to Florida to attend the service. We are booked solid. In fact we have reservations for the next two years; so, if you are a 'baby boomer' or the child of one - book now, I mean, you really haven't got much time."

Make D P Whitehead's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 1?

7 6 11 16

Go to top