Written by Frank Michaels
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Friday, 6 June 2014

image for Hillary Escapes Institution And On The Lam - Nationwide Search Underway
Will Hillary's run end like this?

Hillary Clinton, who was escorted from an unannounced White House visit last Thursday, has now reportedly escaped from a mental health evaluation hospital in New York.

Reports being picked up off the wire indicate that following her daring jump from a basement window, she first went to the offices of the New York Times where she threatened the staff over reporting her stop-over at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. From there, she is said to have exited the building and pulled a cabby from his vehicle to then speed off into traffic.

One unconfirmed sighting placed her in Flushing Queens at the site of the 1939 and 1964 World's Fairs, where a pair of time capsules are buried. Witnesses stated that she had a pick-ax in hand and was chipping away while screaming, 'I'm coming Bill. You'd better be ready! Make sure Chelsea is up and dressed for school!'

Across the Big Apple, security personnel from the mental health institution in question, have been seen looking down ally ways, poking into bushes at Central Park and lifting the lid on nearly every dumpster in town. Most are said to be dressed entirely in white while wearing ear buds and Google Glass... as well as carrying things like over-sized, heavy-duty netting as well as straight-jackets.

There has been no official word from Mrs. Clinton's personal staff, her husband, daughter or the opossum she received from PETA last year.

Updates as they become available.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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