Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Elections, Borat

Friday, 17 November 2006

image for Borat Barges into 2008 U.S. Presidential Race
Borat's preference is for "woman who has more hair on head than back"

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a Borat! Having taken the American box office by storm, the Kazakh journalist may now attempt to do the same with the White House in 2008. One of his associates reports that Borat told him he's putting together an "explore committee of gypsies, Jews, frat boys and other peoples" to advise him about a possible presidential run.

Word is that there ARE a few people (mostly relatives and friends of Borat) who think that this is a good idea. One pointed out, "Sure he's a jerk. But he's no worse than the other clowns out there running the government. And at least he tells it like it is. How many politicians do that?"

In general, though, the reaction to the possible candidacy was negative. "He wasn't even born in this country," one man pointed out. "Doesn't that automatically exclude him? Let him go back to Kazakhstan -- or whatever 'stan' he's from -- and run for office there." A Borat supporter responded, "You never know. There could be a constitutional amendment providing an exception. Remember, he DID say he is a huge fanny of this country."

Others were completely outraged at even the mention of Borat as a presidential candidate. Priscilla Prim was not shy about stating her opinion. "Would you believe, he said he wanted to have sex with my coat? And I was wearing it at the time. I mean, COME ON." Her friend agreed with the negative evaluation, pointing out that Borat has no respect for women. She shuddered as she repeated what Borat recently said at a movie premiere, "My preference is for woman who has more hair on head than back."

Dan Diplomat is sure that Borat would disgrace the U. S. at state dinners by carrying around his faeces in a plastic bag. However, Dan's wife commented, "But is that any worse than what Bush Senior did that time in Japan? You know, when he threw up at a state dinner. Talk about plastic bags. Everyone AROUND him should have been wrapped up in a plastic baggie!"

Borat's presidential plans may have to be put on the back burner. He has more pressing concerns. He was recently seen running through Times Square, chased by a huge, screaming Kazakh woman wearing a house dress and menacingly waving a huge frying pan. "I don't think she was planning to cook him dinner," a passer-by commented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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