Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Bill Clinton, Jazz

Monday, 19 May 2014

image for Clinton scoops Lifetime Achievement Award from Felonious Monk Institute
Anyone a KGB-fellating mercenary please raise your hand right now

Washington - A think tank commemorating thieving Russian monk Grigori Rasputin is to honor Bill Clinton with a lifetime achievement award.

The bent shaman famously hypnotised the Tsar's relations into handing over millions of dollars-worth of precious jewels after predicting the family would acquire supernatural powers by such a 'gift'.

All members of the Romanov family were subsequently rounded up and executed by incoming Bolshevik thugs who had secretly bankrolled the evil necromancer.

Today's announcement reflects the high esteem in which the former US president is held following his spectacular 'Millenium Bug' coup which completely destroyed all internet records of KGB crimes up to and including January 1 2000.

Clinton will share the prize with wife Hillary, nominated for her role in the disastrous September 11 2012 Benghazi.

The incident saw a massive terror attack destroy the US diplomatic compound in the Libyan City.

Casualties included American Ambassador J Christopher Stevens and Sean Smith, a US 'Foreign Service Information Management Officer' - ie. spook.

Commenting on the prize a spokesperson for the Clinton Foundation said, "How much money is it worth? Because neither the President nor Mrs Clinton get out of bed for less than a million bucks."

Herbie Hancock is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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