Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 17 May 2014

image for Aspiring portrait artist George Dubya Bush gets the brush-off from Queen
Don't be so stupid, George, you'll catch your death of cold

Crawford, Texas - An invitation by the fledgling artist to capture HM 'au naturel' has backfired for the former President after Queen Elizabeth got wind of Bush's naturist activities from one of his former portrait shitters - uh, sitters!.

Since retirement in 2008 Bush has made a bit of a name for himself painting leading world figures stark naked in a new conceptual twist of the warts 'n' all idea of an aritst's lot.

Last week his offer of $69,000 to execute a likeness in oils of the octogenarian monarch was turned down by the Palace as inappropriate, the going rate being closer to 1,000 barrels of sweet light crude.

"House of Windsor geriatrics don't get out of bed for less than a quarter of a million," a spokesperson commented, "regardless of whether the artist is clothed or not.

"Besides, from what we can ascertain, Mr Bush specialises in portraits of dead DOGS!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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