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Thursday, 15 May 2014

image for Phyllis Schlafly Inadvertently "Outs" Grandson When She Confuses Gay with 'Gay'
Westboro's Elder of tar-boiling, Ezekial Flagstone.

Topeka, KS - Phyllis Schlafly, best known for her unwavering extremely conservative political and social views and her opposition to modern feminism, inadvertently 'outed' her homosexual grandson by describing him as gay.

During a speech before the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS, Schlafly described her grandson, Philip Morris Schlafly, as not only gay, but added "My wonderful grandson Philip is gay. Not just gay, but really very very gay. You can see it in his smile, the way he walks, everything about him. That boy is just gay as can be."

Philip Schlafly has since admitted he is a homosexual, but he had never made his sexual orientation public.

The statements initially caused an uncomfortable silence in the church. But the silence was quickly broken with chants of "He's going to burn! He's going to burn!" Philip Schlafly, who was traveling with his grandmother on her speaking tour and sitting at the back of the stage, shuttered with fear and ran for his life.

Members of the church ran after Schlafly carrying buckets of boiling tar - which they always have on hand - and duct tape.

Ms. Schlafly was obviously confused by the entire spectacle. She stopped her speech and looked around the stage. She stepped back to the microphone and stated "What is going on? I don't understand this! Philip is a happy boy! Always smiling, always cheerful. Always gay. Always very very gay!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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