LAS VEGAS - With voters wanting something besides the pale platitudes that both major party candidates Joe Heck and Erin Bilbray are offering, I, Dominus Noster, decided to conduct my own internal polling.
I polled a sample of all of my readers, asking them who they wanted to become the next member of Congress in Nevada's 3rd District. At first, nobody gave any clear answers. But when after we had the chance to sit down and explain how artificially low interest rates are injurious to the economy, how we were lied into war, how government spending is injurious to everybody's wellbeing, how all of that free stuff both parties offer isn't really free, people overwhelmingly demanded that I be elected the next member of Congress.
Internal polling is showing that when people who were once brainwashed by FOX News and MSNBC become aware that both parties are lying to them, it becomes 99% for Dominus Noster to .5% for Joe Heck and .5% for Erin Bilbray.
"This is exciting news," said Faye Kerr, a Nevada political consultant. "This shows that all of those lobbyists on K Street might not be properly hedged with their financial resources tied up in Joe Heck's campaign. Joe Heck and Erin Bilbray really ought to take Dominus Noster seriously."