(STT News - Tybee Island, Georgia) A long lost nuclear bomb found accidentally by island regular, DP Whitehead, who, while patrolling the area of the island, was announced today.
The Mark-15 nuke was lost in 1958 when a B-47 bomber and F-86 fighter collided off the coast. The bomber pilot dropped his payload into the water and until today, it had never been found.
Whitehead, speaking to reporters, said that after spending hours and hours and hours and hours and hours writing about Tybee, it finally came down to finding something that could have wiped it off the map altogether.
Fortunately for them, the ancient relic was no longer capable of being detonated.
While the news of Whitehead's discovery was officially kept silent, it has, like the bomb's radioactive contents, long since leaked across the island. The results are that a huge street party is being held on the corner of 16th and Butler, with locals gathering (and glowing) nightly for a celebration.
One islander said that after all these years, Whitehead's contributions would be forever remembered. "This person saved our island whether they wanted to or not... so dammit, we come today to have a good time and enjoy the beach and the booze. Thanks, DP! We love ya!"
A monument to DP Whitehead will be erected near the old Fort Screven Museum, next to the statue of the beer bottle found on the beach in 1960 with a note inside that said:
"I came, I drank, I wrote, I drowned."