Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 12 May 2014

image for 'First Billionaire of Hip-Hop' Dr Dre's pipe dreams go pear-shaped as Apple shrugs off Beats Electronics rumor mill
Gave us all a few laughs!

Cupertino, California - Realtors punting the sale of Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen's sprawling $50million Brentwood, LA mansion are back to square one amid reports that an imminent sale to Beats Electronics founder Dr Dre has bombed.

The wannabe premier hip-hopster had become convinced that tech giant Apple wants to shell out $3.2 billion for his Santa Monica Lewinsky, California-based audio products and equipment company, even to the extent of going on a massive mansion buying binge on the strength of media rumors.

This morning inquiries to Cupertino-based Apple HQ were met with raucous laughter and remarks like 'Dr Dre...WHO??' as sources close to CEO Tim Cook chuckled at the sheer improbability of it all.

"Someone's pulling the proverbial leg," Apple PR spokesperson Granny Smith commented.

"Still, if this guy's got fifty million to splash out on a LA mansion good luck to him, but it won't be coming from any garage sale of his vastly over-rated business."

Apple shares surged on the news to close 25% up on the day's trading with Silicon Valley investors saying 'told you so!'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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