The bald eagle, national symbol of the United States of America, whose image appears on most official seals of the U.S. government, including the presidential seal, the presidential flag, and in the logos of many U.S. federal agencies is to be replaced by a bald man.
"We have decided that, as it is extremely rare to see a bald eagle in the United States, yet very common to see a bald man, that we have today declared the bald man the national symbol of our great nation," announced White House press secretary Jay Carney.
Official government seals and logos are going to be redesigned, replacing the eagle with images of popular homosexual American Cuban rapper Pitbull, the self styled 'Mr. Worldwide'.
"Mr. Pitbull is far more recognizable to the people of the United States than a bald eagle," read Carney, from a prepared statement, "therefore we feel it appropriate that he represent the legions of bald men who we proudly call Americans....'dale'."