Written by E. Williams
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Thursday, 8 May 2014

image for Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

New Brunswick, NJ - Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should be a hit with the rich kids on campus: Professional Vacationer.

Part of the Bachelor of Liberal Arts program, where many other useless degrees reside, the curriculum was hand-picked by Mrs. Obama and based on her unparalleled record of vacationing around the world at others' expense.

Classes making up the core curriculum of the degree plan include: 'How to Stay in London on $5000 a Night', 'Proper Etiquette for Booking Two Floors of a Hotel at Once', 'Traveling with Your Own Security Force', 'Low-Tipping Your Staff', and 'Flagrantly Spending Taxpayer's Money 101'.

More advanced courses offered at the junior and senior levels include 'Don't Pack! You Can Buy Everything You Need on Your Trip', 'Blocking Guilt Stemming From Getting Everything for Free' and 'How to Lecture Others About Cutting Back While You Live the Good Life'.

Students will write their thesis on the best ways to marry a high-ranking politician to gain access to unlimited taxpayer funds.

"Vacationing is a wonderful way to spend your life," the First Lady remarked. "I'm shocked more people don't do it! Doesn't everybody have tons of disposable income or other people who would foot the bill for everything?"

When asked by a reporter if, as a matter of principle, she should pay the taxpayers back for some of the extravagant lifestyle choices she has made, the First Lady laughed and said, "Next question!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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