Co Antrim, N Ireland - Former IRA thug turned Global Piss Process luminary Gerry Adams remains in custody tonight as Northern Irish police turn on the thumbscrews about his tastes in equine stuff.
Adams, 69, was arrested Wednesday night following a tip-off that a toupee he wears had tested DNA positive for whorsehair from Shergar's lustrous tail.
The abducted dual Derby winning champ went AWOL from an Irish stud in 1983 in what an undercover midget from the Falls Road, Belfast, says was all Gerry Adams' bloody fault.
"And then Tony B Liar covered it all up, begorrah," Seamus O'Dwarf said this evening, "because him and Clinton both shagged Bianca Jagger who was somehow also in on the act."
The shameless Nicaraguan human frights tart was once rumored to have feasted with Gerry Adams on a roasted pony fetlock at the Three Whorseshoes Pub in County Louse.
Last year a UN Fat Finding Mission said the ex-wife of Rolling Stone frontman Mick Jagger had recently gained over 50 lardarse pounds.
Police Service of Northern Ireland interrogation services are said to include use of vivid 3D vids of a naked Bianca singing 'Wild, Wild Horses.'
Enough to turn any bloke nuts.