Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 29 April 2014

image for Secret files reveal White House deployed emergency first responders to 'rescue' Dubya from locked lav
Couldn't tell the difference between the 'Room Service' and 'Panic' buttons

Washington DC - Federal Emergency Management Agency firefighters were summoned to the White House in a 2001 security incident when George W Bush accidentally hit the private presidential bathroom's panic button because the toilet paper had run out.

Classified details of the incident have only just leaked out following more than a decade of bipartisan agreements to keep a lid on this kind of stuff to spare the blushes of all concerned.

The bizarre event took place just daze before Bush's first trip to Camp David where he and Brit war criminal Tony B Liar got smashed on LSD and crystal meth while hatching a plot to bomb New York's Twin Towers.

The incident was duly recorded in the presidential security detail's incidents diary which noted the look of 'sheer disbelief' on Dubya's face when four burly DC emergency first responders smashed through the locked bathroom door.

A subsequent cover-up became known as the infamous presidential 'pretzel moment' to obscure a sequence of events that ended with Bush somehow getting his face jammed down the lavatory pan.

All West Wing panic buttons were subsequently replaced to avoid any confusion by the Obama family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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