Written by Cool Papa Bell
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Tuesday, 29 April 2014

GUNSMOKE, ALASKA -- Sarah Palin believes an effective way to combat terrorism would be to arm surfers so they could protect many of our country's coastlines.

"Surfboarding would be our first line of defense," said Palin, wearing a frogman suit and flippers and showing off a James Bond-type amphibious weapon, who elaborated on comments she made at the NRA convention over the weekend.

"Surfers are familiar with our shores and can easily spot an wave-riding international terrorist trying to 'hang 10' in a suspicious manner."

Palin, who often watches surfers from her back porch, said they could be trained by the Department of Homeland Security by using old Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello films.

"Annette never even messed her hair up and Frankie was ripped. He was a moose on a surfboard," she said.

Palin, a former GOP vice-presidential nominee, is still considering a presidential run but already knows what the American people expect of her.

"They want someone with a gun in her purse, an American flag tattooed right over her heart and ideas so outlandish that they seem practical," she said.

She also had a direct message to terrorists: "When you hear 'Cowabunga dude,' then you should know, al-Qaeda, I'm coming for you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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