Written by Matt Birkenhauer

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Tuesday, 22 April 2014

image for Frank Luntz, GOP Wordsmith, Found Expired at House of Assignation
Luntz with the former Bullshitter-in-Chief

NEW YORK-Frank Luntz, the wunderkind of the Republican Party who coined phrases such as climate change (for global warming), energy exploration (for oil drilling) and death tax (for estate tax), was found by paramedics in a state of deamination at a reputable house of assignation somewhere in the red-light district of New York, right after he scribbled on a legal pad before his expiration.

The courtesan with whom Luntz was partaking in the act of coition said the pudgy wordsmith was right on the verge of emission when he suddenly grabbed his chest and, realizing he was experiencing a myocardial infarction, penned his last words for the press.

They were: "Oh shit! I'm fucked!"

The remains of the Republican consultant were interred at a cemetery in his hometown of West Hartford, CT. Said an up-and-coming wordsmith in the GOP, to whom Luntz was a mentor: "Mr. Luntz brought a brand of prevarication to the Grandiose Antediluvian Party that will never be replicated. May he repose in pacification."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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