Written by D P Whitehead
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Monday, 21 April 2014

image for Florida Man Kicked From Bed After Dorito Eating Incident
Next I Am Caught Snacking In Bed I Have To Move Into A Motel

A Florida man was forcibly ejected from his bed late last night after opening a bag of Doritos thinking his wife was sleeping.

"She caught me munching the snack and told me that it was the 'final straw' and she was sick of waking up finding crumbs in the bed. She actually pushed me out of the bed onto the floor," said the shocked man.

The man's wife, a fiery Latin woman, has put her perspective on the incident.

"He isn't Brad Pitt; if he looked like James Franco, I would have let the transgression slide and allowed him to eat in bed and get crumbs all over the sheets," she said. "But he doesn't, so I had no choice but to kick him out. Anyway, I warned him, that if he continued to eat his little snacks in the middle night it would be the couch for him. It's like he doesn't give a fuck."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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