Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 April 2014

image for San Francisco Is Considering A Skateboarding Ban
Many elderly San Francisco citizens are upset with the young skateboarders.

SAN FRANCISCO - The city of San Francisco could be the first city in the nation to pass a law making it illegal to skateboard within the city limits.

A group of angry citizens led by Orville Lemonlund, 91, have petitioned the mayor to do something about a situation that has clearly gotten out of hand.

Orville stated to members of the press that skateboarders are getting younger and most of those have no regard for people moving about on the downtown sidewalks.

He noted that just within the past two months there have been at least 29 injuries which resulted from skateboarders running into individuals, mostly senior citizens.

One 12-year-old skateboarder who would only give his nickname Rocket Ricky said that the 93-year-old woman he ran into actually darted in front of him from out of nowhere. He then added that she had actually come out of a denture shop.

Meanwhile, 84-year-old Fenella Fipcastle said angrily that the hoodlum, low pants wearing, bubblegum chewing, skateboarding heathens are everywhere. She said she even saw a young girl skateboarding in the ladies restroom at a downtown Pompous Pizza Parlor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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