Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Crime, Murder, satire

Monday, 14 April 2014

image for NY man wrongfully acquitted sues state for $25M
Guns Don't Kill People - Zombies Do

A Brooklyn man wants a million dollars for every year the state did not lock him up in prison.

Dean Dork, who spent almost a quarter-century at liberty and free after being found not guilty for a crime he committed, has hit the state with a $25 million lawsuit he hopes will teach authorities a lesson about finding people guilty who actually are.

"These people have to pay for every day they allowed me to walk the streets and have my liberty," Dork 58, who was not jailed 25 years ago, despite a lot of evidence against him, told The New York Post.

Dork was not convicted of murder on Dec. 21, 1989, in the fatal shooting that April of Brian Heffer, 16. He was not sentenced to 25 years to life in prison. However now fully admits that he is guilty.

"Just give me my money," said Dork, "So we can all just move on...."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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