Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 13 April 2014

image for 'And bijou ensuite bathroom' as realtors list vagrants' Manhattan Bridge frame shacks
Probably a lot easier to pee straight into the East River at night

New York - Admittedly the plumbing is a little primitive unless you consider a one pint plastic beaker having sufficient capacity for those midnight trips to the bathroom but hey, this is Manhattan where real estate rentals are going through the roof.

Built into the Manhattan Bridge upper deck's underside the 10ft x 2ft makeshift cardboard cubbyholes are sandwiched between fume-spilling car traffic lanes and subway, plus bike lanes below.

This morning dozens of the Bridge's resident hobos were being wooed by eager beaver realtors keen to secure subletting contracts for the 6,855ft long overpass' homes-in-the-sky.

"Sure, they're not entirely Des Res condos," property adviser Delilah Aircon told reporters from the New York Sunday Toast, "but a coat of warm-hued decorators' paint can work wonders with the, uh, ambience."

The re-rental scheme comes after New Yorkers parried last month's mayoral campaign to allow unfettered access to New York's Upper East Side private roof gardens which the De Blasio Administration has vowed to turn into 'people's parks'.

So far the scheme has proved a bit of a damp squid - uh, squib! - with the Administration with aides pointing out that several 'homeless' families were already eyeing up Mayor Bill de Blasio's Gracie Mansion residence whose famous roof gardens are listed as a national treasure.

The Statue of Liberty could be next.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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