Written by Keith Shirey
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Saturday, 12 April 2014

image for Limbaugh Says Colbert Will Destroy Heartland Values
ITS VALUES THREATENED

Stephen Colbert, who has been anchoring the Colbert Report on Comedy Central since 2005, will replace David Letterman as CBS's late night host in 2015.

"It's revolutionary! In kind of a bad way," according to radio host Rush Limbaugh: "CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America. No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional heartland American values."

Now, it's just wide out in the open. I' can't believe they would hire this radical leftist Colbert when other comics, like Bill O'Reilly, were available for the host spot," said the dittohead chief.

Limbaugh enumerated "heartland principles, philosophies and values" as being "anti-science and feminazi; anti-minimum wage for gays and lesbians; pro-Wal-Mart and gun racks; pro-God with no Rapture for East Coasters; pro-big-ass trucks, beef steaks, freedom fries and assault weapons; pro-Archie Bunker and Trinity Broadcasting Company; and, finally, pro-family and misogyny."

"Colbert puts our precious American heritage in jeopardy," Rush concluded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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