Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 9 April 2014

image for Governor Jan Brewer Demands That The City of Yuma Either Sell or Destroy Its Lesbionic Statue
Governor Brewer said that lesbionic statues are not permitted in Arizona.

YUMA, Arizona - Governor Jan Brewer recently visited the city of Yuma and she was shocked to see there in the middle of town a statue of three lesbianites.

Governor Brewer asked a local resident what the hell the statue was doing there.

She was told that it was just sitting there looking pretty.

"Looking pretty?" The governor shouted.

"It's a statue of three semi-naked lesbianites hugging each other and there is absolutely nothing pretty about that."

The local resident asked if she had her panties in a wad. The governor replied that she does not wear panties and added that for the past 15 years she has only worn men's boxer shorts.

"Oh, so then you're one of them crossdressing transvestites huh?" he asked.

The governor was so angry she threatened to have the man arrested.

He grinned and said "Hey old gal, if anyone is going to get arrested its gonna be you for looking so damn friggin ugly. Damn how old are you anyway...100?"

Governor Brewer then drove over to the mayor's office and made it crystal clear to him that statues of gays and lesbians are not allowed within the state of Arizona.

She then instructed him to sell the damn statue to someone in California or else destroy it before she calls in the National Guard to blow the statue to smithereens.

The mayor said he would put it on eBay and try to get it sold.

STORY UPDATE: The mayor of Yuma has said that the statue will be sold to Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi, one of Hollywood's most famous lesbionic couples.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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