Written by D P Whitehead
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Wednesday, 9 April 2014

image for Florida Man Gives Outback One Last Chance
Why No Kangaroo Kebabs?

Despite some bad experiences, a Florida man has had while dining at popular Australian themed restaurant 'Outback' in the past, Duncan Whitehead has decided to give the restaurant one last chance.

"I'll give them one last shot. But if they screw up this time, it's over. I really mean it. You can only be let down so many times before you say, 'Enough is enough.'" Said Whitehead to a packed press conference.

Whitehead estimates that he has dined at his local 'Outback' in Fort Lauderdale between 5 and 6 times, adding that almost every visit has been disappointing. While he acknowledged that the food is "sometimes pretty good," he dubbed the restaurant's atmosphere "borderline obnoxious."

"It's always something," Whitehead said, sighing heavily. "It is usually the greeter, she never smiles, or the manager - when I constantly complain; he never offers me anything for free. Sometimes, the waitress rubs me up the wrong way. Then another time, the service is great, but I'm stuck next to a table full of old people, who are usually arguing about splitting the bill and who ate what."

Whitehead claims he is prepared to give Outback one last chance - if they truly become an Australian restaurant and start serving Kangaroo meat and Russell Crowe burgers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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