Written by Evan Essence
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Sunday, 12 November 2006

image for Rumsfeld will call Rush Limbaugh to testify at War Crimes trial
Blowing off some steam

A group of lawyers say they will be filing charges of War Crimes against outgoing Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld in Germany next week, for the role he played in authorizing the use of torture at Abu Graib and Guantanamo Bay. The trial will take place in Germany, because the statutory immunity from prosecution, that Rumsfeld recieved in the US, doesn't hold in Germany, where the War Crimes Court has 'universal jurisdiction'.

Rumsfeld's defense lawyers, have already announced, that during the trial, they will call conservative radio commentator Rush Limbaugh, as an expert witness, in Rumsfeld's defense. Limbaugh, who, using his bully pulpit as a radio talk show host, has become an expert on nearly everything, made the news, when the shocking photos of nudity and torture at the Abu Graib prison were first released, when he said that the prison guards were "just having a good time" and "blowing off some steam."

At the trial, Limbaugh is expected to explain that all the nudity in the photos from Abu Graib, indicates that the particpants were having as much fun as in a 'love-in' during the '60's, and the orgies that take place regularly at Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion.

"It must have been quite a party!", said Harvard professor of political science, Barney Hampton. "So far it has been documented that at least 26 persons were tortured to death, under Rumsfeld's explicit directives. They must have really been having a good time!"

The Bush administration has argued, that just because the US signed the Geneva Convention, doesn't mean it applies to us. However, recently the US Supreme Court determined that, according to the US Constitution, the Geneva Convention does apply to the United States. The Bush administration has responded that the US Constitution was meant to be interpreted broadly, and, in fact, can be interpreted any way you would like, or can be ignored completely, if you wish. "That is what we have been doing, for a long time, so there is a precedent, "Dick Cheney said Friday.

The War Crimes trial in Germany is expected to be a major media event throughout the world....with the exception of in the US, where the mainstream corporate media hasn't even mentioned it.

Editors note: Evan Essence recieved his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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