Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Death, Kids, Zombies, joke

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

image for Poke With Stick Confirms Grandmothers Death
The Old And Trusted Method Used By Kids The World Over

Two Florida brothers confirmed today that their Grandmother had died in her sleep after poking her corpse with a stick.

Upon waking, the two boys, who were visiting their Grandma, 75 year old May Hogan for spring break, entered her bedroom confused as to why she hadn't woken and made them breakfast.

Brothers John Hogan, 11, and Tom Hogan, 9, were able to positively confirm their Gran's demise by carefully prodding her lifeless body several times with a stick, sources reported Tuesday.

The Hogan boys resorted to the highly reliable jabbing test only after a thorough tossing of pillows and a book at the old woman yielded no reaction.

"We threw stuff at her and then ran away," John Hogan said of their preliminary investigation. "But we couldn't tell if the pillow moved her, or if she had turned into a zombie and was just playing dead."

Once they had obtained conclusive proof that Grandma Hogan was deceased, both of the brothers made their own breakfast before calling their mom.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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