Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 7 April 2014

image for Big Oil tycoons pledge $20bn to build Manhattan Flood Barrier
The Manhattan scheme will be modelled closely on London's Thames Barrier

Manhattan, NYC - Months of hush-hush talks held under cover of a Hamptons International Film Festival planning committee are about to go public with the announcement of a $20bn scheme to protect Manhattan from pernicious tidal surges.

Negotiations, believed to have been held in Long Island's surveillance-proof Big Oil 'safe houses' and brokered by former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani, will see the start of construction of a swanky five mile flood defence barrier some time in early 2016.

The proposed Manhattan Flood Barrier will stretch from the southernmost point of the Rockaway Peninsula to Sandy Hook's northern tip and will feature two 1,000ft retracting gates powered by a massive hydroelectric turbine harnessing the East and Hudson Rivers' huge tidal potential to generate thousands of gigawatts of power.

Commenting on reports about the secret plan a source close to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said as far as he is concerned 'it ain't gonna happen' because of the slight suffered by him through exclusion from the talks.

Also scornful of the project are ex-NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and current Mayor Bill de Blasio, both deemed irrelevant to brokering the historic deal.

"Besides," a New York City Hall mayor aide added, "who round here's got a spare twenty billion bucks?"

The Hamptons International Film Festival 2014 opens later in October with the premiere of the apocalyptic movie Surge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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