For the first time in U.S. history one single campaign donation has elected a new president, three years before the actual election!
Super Republican wackjob Donald Trump, wrote the GOP a one billion dollar check and elected himself the next President in under five minutes. "There is no need for the American people to go to the polls in 2016, I have already paid for the position, it's done" With that brief statement Trump jumped on his private 797 jet and left for europe to buy the most exotic and expensive materials for a complete White House makeover.
"I want to thank SCOTUS for eliminating the need for the endless political campaigns, advertising and expensive election costs" Said speaker of the house John Bayner as he slipped away for a quick spray tan.
President Obama expressed disgust with the court. "The GOP can't win an election on the up and up, so they supress the vote and now they have, through their minions on the Supreme Court, unleased a tidal wave on the American people. It is truly a sad day in America"