Written by Moose
Print this
Topics: Earthquake

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

image for Panic spreads as magnitude-1.9 quake hits Manhattan

NEW YORK, NY - New York City's Mayor, Bill de Blasio, says that the stress toll has risen to more than 239,093, but less than 239,095 from a powerful magnitude-1.9 earthquake that struck off Manhattan earlier today.

The quake forced city officials, bureaucrats and other government teat-suckers to order a 9:00 pm bedtime along the city's entire Atlantic coast for fear of further stress, fear and anxiety of the city's sensitive inhabitants.

New York City has been struck with innumerable calamities recently, including three inches of snow, winds of 17 mph and temperatures dipping into the low 30s.

Thousands have lost confidence, and hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers are spending the night huddled in their beds due to the curfew order, which remains in effect until May.

Make Moose's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 5?

4 5 6 8
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more