Written by P. R. Mann
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Topics: America, Government

Friday, 10 November 2006

image for Government Finally Notices Vermont Secession

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow today reported to the press that the state of Vermont actually seceded from the Union three years ago.

"They sent us a nice note and everything," Mr Snow said at this morning's press conference. "I guess we were just so busy with Iraq that we didn't pay attention."

Mr Snow went on to say that allegations that the Bush administration ignored Vermont's secession because they did not even know that Vermont was a state were "as ridiculous as anything Bob Woodward could think up."

A spokesman for recently re-elected Vermont Governor James H. Douglass confirmed the secession. In October of 2003 while current Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean was still Governor, the General Assembly passed Act *69--which absolved all political union between the State of Vermont and the United States of America.

When asked whether or not the United States would take action against Vermont, Mr Snow replied: "Probably not. Their note very clearly gave us one year to negotiate. We missed our chance."

As of this writing, rumors are coming in reporting rioting in major cities across the country over the hoarding of real maple syrup.

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