Brussels, Belgium - Belgian security service operatives said today a 'suspicious' package found on President Obama has proved entirely harmless despite an outwardly bulging initial appearance.
"Bum squad - uh, bomb squad! - detectives were summoned this morning," the head of Interpol frisking commented, "when the President's wiener got accidentally caught in a jammed zipper scenario.
"Luckily, Mr Obama managed to pull out just in time."
The US President was attending a NATO/EU summit when the incident occurred triggering fears of an imminent biological attack.
Fortunately no concealed weapon was found upon his person despite an X-Ray scanner going berserk.
Police later recalibrated the already tight security equipment to allow for unusual but entirely natural body shapes such as the President's to pass unchallenged.
Tomorrow's meeting with Pope Frankie-the-Argie will go ahead as planned.