Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 March 2014

image for Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Wants To Ban Same-Sex Couples From Visiting The Grand Canyon
Jan Brewer has said that her job as governor of Arizona is to please non-gays only.

PHOENIX - Jan Brewer, the lame duck governor of Arizona, has privately said that she is not leaving office without making some hellacious waves.

Governor Brewer allegedly told a very close friend that she is serious about her anti-gay and anti-lesbian feelings.

She pointed out that if individuals living in Arizona want to date and even marry people of the same gender then they need to go to San Francisco to do it and not do it in her wonderfully fair and impartial state of Arizona.

She has even pointed out on many occasions that the name Arizona is an old Navajo name which means Land where Indian brave and Indian maiden marry, have children, and raid wagon trains.

Governor Brewer's most recent homophobic outburst was uttered in the parking lot of a Silly Sardine Seafood Restaurant in downtown Phoenix.

She told an assembled group of 29 people that she is seriously considering issuing a Governor's Directive which will prohibit same-sex couples from visiting the famous Grand Canyon.

When asked why, she shook her head, clenched her fist, and said because the Grand Canyon was created by straight people, for straight people, and not for gays and lesbianites.

She went on to point out that gays and lesbians don't even care about seeing a great big old hole in the ground simply because they prefer interior decorating, making fancy pastries, and listening to Melissa Etheridge songs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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