Written by Douglas Salguod
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Topics: America, Congress

Thursday, 9 November 2006

image for Democrat Mid-Term Election Gains Divide America as the South Secedes
Don't you be savin' your Confederate money, but the South really will rise again!

ATLANTA - America is so divided following the electoral shifts in Congress, say two prominent political scientists, the country is literally splitting in two -- as the South secedes again.

It is already in motion, say Merle and Earl Black, for the former Confederate states to separate from the rest of the United States, the Union they call it, and form a new nation.

The chickens of the War on Tara have finally come home to roost, say both Black brothers, as the Confederate States, still resentful over Sherman's March to the Sea and the humiliation of Reconstruction, are likely now to secede again. And now, with the shift in power, the chances that a war resolutions act to stop them would pass Congress, say the Black brothers, are slim and none.

"The unintended side effects of the Democrat victory in the mid-term elections are just beginning," says P. Merle Black, a political science professor at Atlanta's Emory University and an expert on politics in the Southeastern United States.

"John Edwards keeps saying there are 'Two Americas,' well, Johnny, you ain't seen nothin' yet," said Merle Black. "With the 'peace-loving' Democrats taking over the House of Representatives, neutralizing the Republicans in the Senate and effectively neutering the president, the closet Confederates of the South have come out of hiding, opening the door for a fundamental shift in the American political landscape."

According to Earl Black, Merle's twin brother and a political scientist at Rice University in Houston, "The line of division has become so bright that the states are now color coded: the red and blue states versus the red, white and blue states."

Besides, says Emory's Black, the hold on power the Democrats would have in the rump-country he calls the "Disambiguated States of America," would be complete. "Kim Jung-Il would wish he had as much power as the next Democrat president of the DSA," said Merle Black.

"Good riddance is what they'll say," added Rice's Black. "And the Southerners will feel right near the same."

With the southward demographic shift and higher rates of Southern economic growth, a new Confederacy would be a world power, said Earl Black.

"Our great-great-granddad thought Abe Lincoln was a big baboon. You tell me what he'd think of Nancy Pelosi? I'll tell you what: not much," said Merle Black.

The people on the streets, the white ones at least, seem to agree. According to Billy Miller of Dallas, Georgia, "A woman's place is in the house -- and I ain't talkin' 'bout no House of Congress. That is if'n she's a woman. That there San-Fran-Cisco is a mighty queer place. She might just be a he that done had one them sex exchange operations. Could be."

Political historian Leopold von Ranke, who teaches in its History of the South curriculum at the University of West Georgia, attributes the almost century and a half delay in the move to several factors including the inability of the Confederate cabinet to gain a quorum after its supposed last meeting on April 10, 1865 in Danville, Virginia.

That's changed now, according to Dr. von Ranke, as the former Confederate states have started using an order of succession model for political office that is in place all around the world, including the federal government of the United States, first-born descendents automatically inherit their progenitors positions.

Rice's Black says that in an event little noted in the press, the day after the mid-term election, Jefferson Davis VI met with members of his re-formed cabinet and penned his first official proclamation as Governor of Free Virginia and President of the New Confederate States of America, in meeting in the Danville home of Major William T. Sutherlin V.

Following Virginia's lead twelve more states are expected to secede: South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, North Carolina, Missouri and Kentucky.

For those who had been saving their Confederate money for this day, sorry, say the Blacks. The New Confederate States of America, surprisingly, but very practically, are set to adopt the European Union's Euro as their currency.

Copyright 2006, Douglas Salguod

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