Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 20 March 2014

image for Home alone President tweets 'Kevin, you're such a disease!'
Wet Bandits? Just you come and get me!

Washington AC/DC - White House aides say they're mystified after dozens of irate calls from Tinseltown demanding to know the identity of Barack Obama's latest displeasure.

"Uh, we've narrowed it down to five or six possibilities," presidential spokesperson Jay Carney commented amid a tacit acknowledgement that First Lady Michelle Obama usually keeps her husband's social media adventures on a pretty tight leash.

"First up, we're pretty sure it's not Kevin Costner," Carney remarked, "nor Kevin Spacey, Kevin Federline, Kevin Bacon, Kline or Hart.

"Sure, if you narrow it down to other possibilities it could be someone right here on Capitol Hill," Carney said.

"Plenty of Kevins in the House of Representatives."

By lunchtime news of Obama's enigmatic tweet had reached the Kremlin in Moscow where Vladimir Putin's personal staff are known by all kinds of names - including one Kevin Kevinovitch-Chernobyl-Rasputin, the Russian president's adviser on lots of stuff - and top contender for the newly created post of Governor of Crimea.

"Hmm, please don't quote me on that one," Carney added.

Macauley Culkin is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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