Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 18 March 2014

image for The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore Calls California News Anchors Wusses For Diving Underneath Their Desks During A Mild Earthquake
A picture of Hurricane Beyonce which Jim covered in 2012.

LOS ANGELES - The Weather Channel's pride and joy Meteorologist Jim Cantore was in L.A. doing a story on mudslides when he was asked about the recent earthquakes that have been hitting Tinsel Town.

Cantore took a swig from his Hercules VII Protein Power Drink, flexed his muscles, and replied that he is surprised at how most L.A. newscasters immediately hit the floor and hide underneath their desks when they feel some vibrations.

He pointed out that most of the time, the vibrations are caused by an 18-wheeler truck driving by the station.

Jim told National Focus Magazine that earthquakes do not scare him one bit. He then stated that neither do hurricanes.

The buff meteorologist added that he and CNN's Anderson Cooper have both been outside during hurricanes in Louisiana when the winds were clocked at 172½ miles per hour.

Cantore said that one time down in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, the hurricane winds were so powerful that they blew his blue jeans off but he managed to hold on to the microphone with his left hand and his boxer shorts with his right hand.

SIDENOTE: Jim told National Focus Magazine that several years ago he rode a tsunami in New Guinea for a distance of 7.3 miles while holding on to a milk cow's udder.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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