Written by TheFakeShemp
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Topics: Animals, Senate

Wednesday, 8 November 2006

image for 3 Goats and a Tortoise Accidentally Voted into US Senate
The future of American Politics?

With the votes piling in for the US senate now the Democrats have won control of the US House of Representatives, it has been revealed via leaked documents that Utah accidentally voted in three goats and a tortoise named Sammy.

No one can quite work out how this happened, especially as two of the goats, Geoff and Trevor are neither Democrat or Republican but strongly affiliated with the white supremists of the Nazi Party. The Klan have made an official statement to deny rumours that the 4-legged mountain cheese producers Geoff and Trev were in fact KKK spies trying to infiltrate the senate to steal the buffet.

President George W Bush will be making a statement on the situation at 18:00 GMT as soon as his head aide Lenny 'the thumbs' Redello, can find the crayons.

In a surprise twist, Sammy (the shelled grumpy slow green one of the troupe) was, in fact, the official candidate for Utah. They had to vote him in after their original candidate Joe Bob Briggs Smith was found in a compromising position with a 4 pound trifle.

It is believed that the 3 goats (the third of which is staying bafflingly mute at this time) actually snuck into the senate and started chewing on the curtains posing as Sammy's bodyguard and disguised as a very large Ape.

The Director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, has sprung into action and immediately arrested 57 Muslims and had them strung up with piano wire even though there is NO EVIDENCE whatsoever of their involvement. He did state, however, that the piano wire was merely a precautionary measure and in no way violated their limited human rights. So that's okay then.

It is not yet known whether these animals will side or not with the President or even if their involvement in today's proceedings will make any difference at all but if the Langois Situation of 1957 (When Paul Langois swore in a cheese sandwich as the house head speaker) is anything to go by, probably not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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