WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just found out from a very reliable source that most illegal aliens are members of the Illegal Immigrants Union or IIU.
The information came from a source who spoke on grounds of anonymity due to the dangerous nature of the info he provided.
Colfax said that the president has asked him to inform the White House Press Corps that he has talked to the FBI, the CIA, the Border Patrol Agency, and the IRS and they will be conducting a joint investigation.
The president has said that he wants to get to the bottom of this matter and if the illegal aliens are in fact unionized then he will be contacting the U.S. attorney general about possibly filing a lawsuit against the IIU.
President Obama has said that he is by no means a union buster like the Wisconsin governor is, but he insisted that if the illegal aliens are in fact paying dues then he wants to make sure that they are all receiving the rights and benefits that they are paying for.