Written by Frank Michaels
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Saturday, 15 March 2014

image for Washington Celebrates First (Official) Annual Flag Wash Day
US flag escapes Washington DC unharmed

Washington DC (STT News) - The first (official) annual Flag Wash Day event down on the Potomac River was held today as politicians from both parties go to try and undirty themselves in the holy water of a river that George Washington once crossed.

Republicans worked to remove all the blue while the Democrats bleached all the red, leaving a flag once called 'Old Glory', nothing but a sullen white.

One Libertarian simply watched, as his party had no part in what he called "An utterly disgraceful display."

The Flag Wash event began unofficially over 30 years ago when American politics began tail-spinning into a maelstrom of polarizing division. The idea was to erase all of the color of the opposing party but, when both sides participated and both erased their opposite's color, the flag that was left was a sad shade of white that is most often associated with surrender.

The onlooking Libertarian went on to say, "This is our America of the 21st century. These people are more interested in eradicating anything that doesn't click its heels to a specific agenda and they really don't care about the outcome as long as it appears to suit their own."

Across the way, a large gathering was having far more fun; music, dancing and the gulping of green beer all while enjoying a St Patrick's day weekend.

"We still have a lot to learn." he said while walking away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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