Written by plinth course
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Wednesday, 8 November 2006

image for Dems Gloat About Not Gloating
Unlike other (Golden) Democrats, the "New Dems" refuse to gloat...and have less teeth

USA - No sooner had the pixels faded on MSNBCNN's high-tech maps (ABCNBCBS News, if you aren't being gouged by cable or satellite) showing the Democratic sweep, than a parade of Dem leaders popped on screen to declare "a new day in America," and other NON-gloating phrases.

The non-gloaters took turns not to gloat in perfect political politeness, grabbing face time on various "America Chooses: Special Reports," each more non-gloating than the last. It was an absolute rout in non-gloating.

But, beware! Non-gloating requires interpretation to detect the real gloat hidden beneath it; and in the name of truth and justice, we at The Spoof! can offer some advise - in case you're too gloat-deprived to detect it yourself.

The names have been redacted to protect the sensitive Dem gloat-emitter (located in the frontal lobe somewhere), but we won't gloat.

Mix 'n' match freely:

NON-GLOAT PHRASES

  • We will work in a bipartisan manner.

  • The past is the past.
  • Let's not talk numbers.

  • Let bygones be bygones.

  • We want to move America forward.
  • American is looking to the future.

  • It's a new day.

  • Democrats will seek cooperation.

GLOATING PHRASES

  • We got the good end.

  • Bite us.

  • Assume the position.

  • We're ordering drapes.

  • Nyah nyah.

  • WE'RE NUMBER 1!!!

  • We're N + 1, so there.

  • Let the hearings begin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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