Written by Bureau
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Friday, 14 March 2014

image for Yarm Ney Spots First Humans Mating in Woods

"I think they were mating as they kept making all these funny noises and it looked like their shelter device was about to fall in", stated Yarm, a Bigfoot from the Ozarks.

So Yarm Ney has been the first to spot humans this year and gets the Lucky Chestnut.

The award goes to the first Bigfoot that can prove he actually saw human beings without being spotted himself.

"At first I thought they were fighting but as I slipped up, I saw their hairless bodies squirming shadows on he covering device."

Yarm admitted that it was a little sickening the way they went about it and with such poor equipment.

"It's a wonder they ever bring little ones into the world."

The report comes from The Ozark Mountain Foot, who promise an update at the end of the year to see how Yarm has been lucky for the year.

"I hope to find a female to breed and start a family. But none of this humping. I'll use the screaming belly flops as does all true Bigfoot, no offense to the Yeti."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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