WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) is gathering audiovisual recordings of millions of American citizens in its three-year effort to compile the largest "gonzo" pornographic tape of all time.
What men, women, teens, and even children say and do, even while naked, is being stored in the NSA's "secret" database, awaiting editing.
"If your mother and father were in bed, trying to have another child," Edward Snowden warned, "they are most likely going to be actors in the NSA's video. If their daughter happened to step in front of a computer before or after she took a shower, she's likely to be one of the NSA's stars. If their son was cranking it while salivating over some porn images on his bedroom computer, he, too, is probably going to be featured, live, on the NSA's video."
In 2010, Snowden said, the NSA, pretending to be Facebook, infected millions of Americans' computers with malware that takes over personal computers and laptops, seizing control of their webcams and microphones to record their every word and image.
The NSA is especially interested in compiling images of nudity and sexual activity of all kinds, which it is editing and storing in massive databases, Snowden warned. "Do something they don't like, and your whole family could appear in an X-rated sequence on YouTube, Facebook, or anywhere else on the Internet."
When the latest government spying scam was made known, the stocks of Facebook, YouTube, and a few dozen other social media and image storage companies soared.
"Everybody is about to have his or her fifteen minutes of fame," WikiLeaks' founder Julian Assange proclaimed. "You are coming soon to a theater near everyone."