Key West, FL (STT News) - A UN-supported, US Government approved Global Warming archaeological research expedition to the small Florida community of Key West has now uncovered evidence that does more than suggest that climate change is upon us.
Dr. Adele DeLouvre and her crew of fully credentialed Obama Teamsters have been excavating a strand of coastline just south of the Key's airport in search of evidence to support the theory of Global Warming.
According to Dr. DeLouvre, they found exactly what they came for. "Along Highway A1A (Roosevelt Blvd), the beach was once a main attraction for residents as well as those who came to Key West as an escape. Back 70-80 years ago, this stretch of shoreline was quite popular. As a result, dated finds from the sands today can tell us a lot about what the climate was back then."
As of now, the teamsters feel they already have quite enough evidence to support their positions that the world is getting warmer. Remains found of old bathing suits were made of fabric much different than those today and there has yet to be a single discovery of littered empty sunscreen bottles or tanning lotions.
"Locally, we know today that very few homes are equipped for winter but... back then? People were often known to keep long-sleeved, white-cotton apparel as well as fully enclosed footwear for use during the months of December and January."
Dr. DeLouvre went on to explain how in history, one of America's greatest writers, Earnest Hemmingway, used to live here on Whitehead Street. "He was often photographed wearing a hat on cloudy days. That says a lot by itself."
The excavation is scheduled to wrap up on April 1st of this year when they will present their findings to the UN's Holy Ordered Panel on Assertive Climate Change.
In addition to those things she already mentioned, she had this to say in closing, "Local healthcare records also show that people today are going to their doctors with complaints of ingrown toenails, premature male-pattern baldness and excessive hangovers. Combined with our findings, this should erase any lingering denial that Global Warming is real!"