Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

image for Keith Richards sold on pizza dumbwaiter at new $10.5million Fifth Avenue condo
Who you calling dumb?

New York - - A private food elevator servicing the 18th/19th floor Greenwich Village penthouse has a direct link to kitchens at Otto's Pizzeria situated on the ground floor of the 1 Fifth Avenue apartment block realtors said today.

"It's one of the property's exclusive features," Manhattan property guru Marinara Curbed explained, "Keith and his wife Patti fell in love with the duplex after Otto's delivered their favorite Quattro Formaggi during a viewing."

High tech electronic wizardry in the dumbwaiter's touchscreen menu connecting the condo with Otto's kitchens means sizzling hot 24-inchers are delivered straight to the couple's splendid master bedroom 24/7.

As well as a dazzling array of the restaurant's signature salads, nibbles and alcoholic beverages plus delicious Italian ice creams, cakes and chocolate.

"Keith conducted a test run of the dumbwaiter before committing to the property purchase," Ms Curbed added, "and was wowed by the eight minute delivery as well as the return journey straight to the kitchen's private dumpsters."

Pals of the sexagenarian Rolling Stone have previously noted just how testy and pissed off Keith sometimes is if his fast food orders don't come right.

Little wonders then that he wrote the band's unforgettable You Can't Always Get What You Want issued on the 1969 album Let It Feed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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