HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!, TEXASS -- Former U. S. president George W. Bush is reportedly considering penning a retroactive executive order awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whistle-blower Edward Snowden.
"He's a patriot for exposing the abuses of the Patriot Act," Bush said. "What he did took balls, and he should be recognized for his courage, honor, and integrity."
Reminded that he himself signed the Patriot Act, Bush admitted that he had done so, "but that's before I knew what was in it," he added.
It's common in Washington, DC, for politicians to sign legislation they haven't read. "Just ask Nanny Pelosi," Bush said, alluding to the senator's infamous declaration that she needed to sign the Obummercare act so she could see what was in it.
Snowden, Bush said, has exposed the hypocrisy, duplicity, and sheer lunacy of a federal government bent upon destroying Americans' civil liberties and personal freedoms in the supposed interests of protecting them from vaguely defined "terrorists."
"For his brave actions in defense of American liberty," he said, "Ed deserves the Medal of Freedom, and I'm going to give it to him. Barack Obummer will learn that he's not the only president with a pen and a 'phone."
Is it even legal to retroactively sign an executive order?
"I will take the action and leave it to the Supreme Court to determine the Constitutionality of my action," he replied, "the same as Barry does."