Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: missing, parody

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

image for Florida Man Offers $20,000 Reward In Search For Wife
She was last seen with this man

More than a week ago, a 40-year-old woman with a wide girth and a moustache vanished in Florida.

Authorities hope and believe she is still alive, and are offering a $20,000 reward for her return. They believe she may just be 'finding herself'.

Her husband has also matched the offered reward. However he is offering $20,000 to anyone who finds her, and keeps her.

Margaret Lee was reported missing by her sister on March 1 after she told her, 'I'm heading to get a few burgers, maybe a couple of pizzas and some hot dogs, to tide me over until lunch,' during a phone call.

She was last seen about 11 a.m. the same day wearing an XXXL white jogging suit outside a local Burger King.

Margaret is 5ft tall and weighs 350 pounds.

Her husband, Frank Lee, is not convinced his wife's disappearance is suspicious.

"She always does this, goes on an eating binge, hides out in a motel for weeks. To be honest, I hope they don't find her, and if someone does, I will match the reward offered by the FBI, as long as you keep her."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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