Written by Moose
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Topics: Sleep

Saturday, 8 March 2014

image for Sierra Club Calls for Mandatory Bed Times
Polar Bears March on Washington DC

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Sierra Club President, Michael Brune, announced today that the Sierra Club is calling for mandatory bed times for all humans.

The announcement came shortly after a 27,339 page report on the benefits and drawbacks of Daylight Savings Time was released by the United States Bureau of Meaningless Reports.

Mr. Brune claims that mandatory bedtimes will reduce the carbon footprint of humans, enabling other creatures to live more comfortably.

Mr. Brune added that many humans stay up after sunset and use unnecessary resources to power lights, electronics, appliances, etc. that contribute to global warming, global cooling, global climate change and other global terms that have yet to be defined.

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