Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 7 March 2014

image for Vice-President Joe Biden Says That The Story About Him and Porn Star Pretzel Garibaldi Is Positively False, False, False
Vice-President Joe Biden said that he is not into porn stars.

TOPEKA, Kansas - Vice-President Joe Biden traveled to Topeka, Kansas to speak at a convention of The Retired Hay Stackers of Kansas.

After talking to the estimated 217 retirees, he was asked by one of the press members about the rumor that he and a California porn star had been observed kissing at a Pompous Pizza Parlor parking lot in Baltimore.

The vice-president asked the reporter who the porn star was. He was told that it's the infamous Pretzel Garibaldi, who has appeared in half a dozen films with the King of Porn Movies, Ron Jeremy.

Vice-President Biden shook his head and said that first off he has never eaten at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Baltimore. Secondly he said that he's a happily married man. And thirdly he said that even if he was single he would never, ever get involved with a porn star.

When asked why, the vice-president grinned and replied, "Why? You ask me why?"

He paused for a few moments and then said that as everyone knows porn stars are all basically nymphomaniacs and he would never want to be with a woman who had been intimate with probably over 1,000 guys.

Vice-President Joe Biden then said that he wanted to clear up the matter once and for all. He took a deep breath and said, "The rumor about me putting it to porn star Pretzel Garibaldi is false, false, false."

SIDENOTE: Vice-President Joe Biden later commented that truth be told he is more the receptionist type.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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