Written by Moose
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Monday, 3 March 2014

image for U.S. To Boycott Paralympics in Protest Over Oscar Pistorius Trial

WASHINGTON, DC - US Presidential Spokesman, Jay Carney, announced today that the USA will boycott the Sochi Paralympics in protest over the trial of Oscar Pistorius, himself a paraplegic.

The announcement came shortly after the completion of the Oscars, brought to you by Tampacks and Pizza House.

Axem A. Kestion, White House press reporter, asked Mr. Carney if the Oscars had anything to do with the President's decision. Mr. Carney responded that the Oscars have proven that President Obama must stand for the disadvantaged, downtrodden and maligned.

In related news, Oscar Pistorius, announced that he will be available for the vice-presidential nomination, if needed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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