Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 3 March 2014

image for Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Texted Ellen DeGeneres During The Academy Awards And Told Her To Dress Like A Woman Instead of Like A Man
Ellen (shown above) has said that no one, not even Oprah Winfrey can tell her what to wear or not wear.

HOLLYWOOD - Ellen DeGeneres said that she could not believe a text message she received during the Academy Award Show.

The host said that during the show's third hour she received a text message from Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona.

The 69-year-old Brewer stated that she did not appreciate seeing her wearing men's clothes and asked her to wear women's clothing so that she would not look so gosh darn butch.

Ellen said that she texted her back telling her that she should really see about investing some money to get some of her 90 or so facial wrinkles fixed instead of worrying about what friggin clothes she is wearing.

Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio then texted DeGeneres and told her that if she ever comes to Arizona and dresses like a man he will personally arrest her.

He then added that some of today's kids are already confused enough without having her confuse them even more by looking like the male figure on top of a wedding cake.

SIDENOTE: Ellen laughed and said that poor little Sheriff "Pinky" is probably just mad because his little winky has most likely shrunk down to the size of a number 2 pencil eraser.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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