Written by Frank Michaels
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Thursday, 27 February 2014

image for Super Class Action Lawsuit Lands in Washington DC District Court
Mothman leads fight for equality

Washington DC (STT News) - A class action lawsuit was filed today in US District Court in what is being described as an attempt to 'Level the superhero playing field for all creatures of legend and lore'.

The lawsuit is being led by Mothman, who had this to say on the subject:
"In the field of superbeings, the discrimination is absolutely rampant today. Superman, Batman, Aquaman, Wonderwoman? They all get first-class treatment no matter where they go. They are just soooo special. But, at a recent comicon convention in North Carolina, their security forcefully detained me, sprained my wings, groped by eye sockets and then even filed down my teeth and claws! It was horrible!"

Joining Mothman in this suit are what is being described as an entire class of uber-normal legends. This includes the Abominable Snowman, Chupacabra, Cthulhu, The Jersey Devil and Springheeled Jack, among others.

Following the initial hearing, a date was not set for opening arguments but the US District Court in Washington did accept the case.

Longtime subject of both British and American tale, Springheeled Jack, offered a few brief comments upon exiting the courthouse:
"There will be justice and equality or there will be hell to pay." offered Mr. Jack. "We can and will make the darkest Halloween seem like a day at an amusement park."

When asked to expand on the meaning, the legendary leaper simply vaulted from sight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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